My issue of the day is this I think I am fat.... I know that is my fault and I am blaming no-one....

The thing is I have always thought I was fat. When I was a kid I thought I was fat I was never told I was fat BUT I was short and chunky... BUT what is even worse is that I had a sister who was tall and skinny. And she never told me I was fat and neither did any family member, well my dad had nicknames for me and my sister when we were little Julie's nickname was princess (of course she was the 1st little girl they are always princesses) and my was pumpkin which is a cute nickname but pumpkins the best pumpkins are short, round and fat.....



Now when I was younger I was like my daughter Kaitlyn's size a size 3 or 5 depending on the brand and that isn't fat I know Kaitlyn isn't fat BUT when I was her age I thought I was fat...

Now I have gone from a size 12 to a size 6 and I still look in the mirror and see a fat girl... You would think that being in a size 6 is good and it is BUT why do I still think I am fat??


I work out almost every day both am and evening and I do that because it gives me energy and just makes me feel better all around and I don't plan to stop, I also stopped snacking I used to snack the whole time I was at work BUT now I take a water and either a piece of fruit or a 100 calorie pack with me and that's it.... but I think no matter what I will always see that fat girl in the mirror.....

Okay so I ingnored a friend request on facebook a while ago (4 times same person so far) I got another friend request from that same person today.. So what to do, I am not being a facebook friend because to me that means a friend I don't have friends and then facebook friends they are the same either you are a friend or you are not a friend plain and simple......
Kaitlyn has told me if she keeps getting the same person requesting then she befriends them because until you do they will keep trying BUT maybe they could get a hint, if I haven't friended you the 1st 4 times I don't think I will the 5th time...
The weirdest part is I have no idea why that person wants to be my friend, she clearly doesn't like me so why would she want to be my friend on facebook? I sent her email updates and pictures of the kids what more does she want from me??

~Eileen~

Okay I doubt I need to say this because everyone knows me BUT I am going to say it anyways......
I am a cold mean bitch who just loves creating drama!!!
Yup that is me!!

I will say it just didn't seem like the 4th of July.... forever 4th of July meant Gram's bday and now that she is gone the 4th of July was just like anyother day..
don't get me wrong we had a great day we went to the beach with good friends and really had a great day BUT it didn't feel like the 4th of July.......
This 4th of July should have been Gram's 98th birthday, I miss Gram....

~Eileen~

facebook....
I think it is funny how when you have a facebook account people try to befriend you.. Like here is an example, I was in school with this kids who harrassed me daily (he was in my shop) he would try and pull me into the boys bathroom with me but the best was on shop days he would take my tools away from me and put then down his pants and tell me if I wanted them back I had to get them.. And now he tries to befriend me on facebook, NO THANK YOU!! I think facebook is cool to reconnect with people from the past BUT I will not befriend anyone that I am not or was not friends with... Facebook to me is a place for friends....

Okay I got to tell you today at work wasn't the best day ever.... We had a new client start today and my boss says it is a smelly house... Okay I am not afraid before I get there since I have been in some really smelly houses... So I find the house and start walking to the side door and before I even reach the door I can smell something bad from the driveway.. I knock on the door and then open the door and go in and the 1st thing I think is oh my god! the 2nd thing I think is I am going to vomit.. I did my best to breathe and talk to the client without my face showing how grossed out I was.. I can't even describe the smell, there were puddles of dog urine on the kitchen floor, a litter box, a smell of human urine and the fridge what can I say the bottom of the white fridge (the freeze part) is black covered in mold, there was a garbage smell too all mixed and really if I had eaten breakfast I am sure it would have come up.. The thing is I will need to go back there... I left there and felt sick for the rest of the day.... I will need to bring vicks with me and put some up my nose before I go into that house... It really was the worst thing I have ever smelled in my life!!!!!!! Because no matter what it smells like, no matter how sick it makes me that couple needs us to deliver meals to them each day....
I

Okay okay I have been trying to stay positive BUT I can't stand much more rain!! I might scream if the rain doesn't stop soon!! I mean this is summer vacation, we should be out in the sun enjoying the pool but not only is it raining it is chilly so come on we need sun and fun for the summer..

Eileen